Things guys say online to make me come runnin'

There are a lot more options for girls than for guys in the online dating arena.

I know, because last night I got curious and decided to check out the "Women Seeking Men" page on Craigslist.

I could count on one hand the number of women who'd posted their pictures, and it would take more than ten fingers to count how many were over 50.

The ladies who DID post pics were no beauty queens, which made me wonder what those in hiding looked like.

If I were a dude, I'd be scared pants-less to answer any of those ads.

On the other hand, plenty of men have the decency to produce a photo (which in many cases saves you the trouble of reading what they have to say). Some even write you a novel about who they are (lame) and what they're looking for (you, of course).

So you'd think when all these poor fellows came across a good-looking girl with the guts to post her pictures, they'd at least put a little effort into writing a witty message to impress and intrigue her.

Yet, it appears the Internet has made men lazy. If you don't reply to their a-grammatical, four-word come-on, they'll just send one to the next girl.

Below are some of the less than stellar messages I've received in the past two weeks. Keep in mind that these are initial encounters, to which they supposedly expect me to reply, and none of the errors are mine.

"MMMMM....Yummy!"

"how you doin would you like to chat???"

" =) "

"I've got nice shoes and nice teeth."

"how r u i really lik u can i know u meet u"

"Great man here! I aint lyin!"

"The sweet sweet breeze has blown all the sweet work off my desk. Guess I'd better go pick that up."

"i like reading your profile?"

"You picked my attention and to say hi too. I don't know you and of course you don't know me. this is i wanna say for now till i get your reply. peace for you."

"Too bad you don't like us older guys" (Sent by a 59-year-old, aka, older than my dad.)

"You should come see me." (NOTE: This guy, whom I don't know, lives in Jersey. That's an hour and a half drive and at least $10 in tolls. Much like the rest of em, he really thought he was hot sh*t.)