If you've never checked out Mindy Raf, a stand-up comedian and columnist for CollegeHumor.com , you should do so immediately. Her scribblings are a little racier (read: more entertaining) than mine, so I guess you could call her my new heroine.
Below is an excerpt from one of my favorites of her columns, proposing a new name for the dreaded Walk of Shame.
What does Mindy suggest?
Why not the "Happy Clit and Tits Trot"?
"So, if you're walking home to your dorm room at 11 a.m. wearing a sequined tube top, glitter eye shadow crusted in the crease of your liner smudged eyes, your thong shoved into the zipper compartment of your purse, and your body smelling like cheap beer and AXE Body Spray, walk with confidence. Hold your head up high, smile at all the people who stare at you, and don't be afraid to shout out,
"I GOT LAID LAST NIGHT!"
"I CAME THREE TIMES!"
"I ALMOST CAME!"
"I GOT HIM DRUNK AND TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HIM!"
"I WAS A COCK TEASE, AND I STILL GOT HIS NUMBER!"
"HE FELL ASLEEP DURING SEX, BUT WE STILL SPOONED!"
"HE FELLATED ME AND THEN I PRETENDED TO PASS OUT!"
"I JUST HOOKED UP WITH MY CRUSH!"
"GUESS WHAT, I GIVE AWESOME HEAD!"
"I GOT SOME ASS LAST NIGHT! WOO HOO!"