July 26, 2007

Flying Solo

Bars can be a rough social scene for a single female.
It’s sink or swim out there, and the sharks aren’t the scary bit -- it’s voluntarily putting yourself in a position where you feel like an outsider to everyone in your vicinity.

So how can a single chica navigate the bar scene on her own?
First, look at the bright side -- being on your own makes you more approachable for guys, and more noticeable if you play your cards right. It also means you can move easily from group to group without worrying about a gal pal.

Here are some tips to keep you from drowning in the social undercurrent:

-Locate the right kind of bar.
You’re out to meet people, so pick a place where the music isn’t too loud. Also steer clear of places where people tend to sit in private booths (like Copper Creek), where you won’t be able to approach them.
I suggest AllGood, Barcode and the Arches, where people often stand and there’s plenty of open space to move about.

-Pick the perfect perch.
You need people to notice you, so don’t sit at the end of the bar or in a tucked-away corner booth. You’ll look like you don’t want to be bothered. Pick a stool near the entrance or stand in an open area between the bar and the door. If you sit at the bar, sit sideways or turned facing opposite the bar -- facing the bar shuts others out and sends the wrong message.
It’s also important to make it obvious you are alone. Don’t put your purse on the neighboring bar stool or keep watching the door. If it looks like you’re waiting on a date, guys will be scared to approach you. If they can see you’re solo, they’ll be intrigued -- why is such a good-looking lady without company, anyway?

-Don’t rely on liquid courage.
You’re buying your own drinks, so hopefully you’ll sip them slowly! It’s tempting to rely on alcohol for the guts to start talking, but if you get sloppy you’ll drive people away from you, not to you. Also, if you always have a drink in front of you, you close the door on an easy entrance for interested guys -- offering to buy you another.

-Most importantly, don’t be afraid to meet people.
Yeah, it’s hard to approach strangers, but look for a group of two or three people who are conversing openly. Avoid couples or those huddled in intense conversation. You may want to ask what they’re drinking to get the ball rolling, but steer clear of creepy cliches, like “Do you come here often?” You’ll find that the more people you approach, even if you only talk to them briefly, the easier it will become. And remember, what’s the worst that can happen if they aren’t interested in talking to you?
They missed out on your sexy self!

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