So you think men like myself should not like Even try ? hah well this guy =) didint find anything to discribe his love and feelings towards you , so he sent a noble =) . :D anyways im not really sure if your making fun of them , cause it was not clear .
But do you have any better ideas that might actually get your attention online :D
Ayy Take care now
Alaa.
Thanks, Spike. You make a good point.
In addition to telling men how they’ve gotten it wrong, I should have instructed them on how to get it right. So here it is.
The problem with many or all of the messages I introduced as horrific examples of online conversation was that they didn't even attempt to elicit a response.
When you send a message to a woman you’re interested in, I’m assuming your goal is to convince her to respond — an indication that she may be interested, too.
(If your point isn’t to get her to respond, I’m not sure what your point could be other than to waste her time.)
I wrote my last blog post on this subject to illustrate that many men were messaging me apparently without this goal in mind.
How exactly am I supposed to reply to “MMMM…..yummy!” ?
And why would I even want to?
Like all other types of dating, online dating is a game, and it helps to know how to play. So here are some good rules to follow:
1. Remember that there is an actual person on the receiving end of your message, and this is a first impression. Treat it that way. You should check your spelling, be courteous and respectful and generally try to connect with this person.
2. Say something about yourself. I don’t need a biography, just something interesting that makes me care to learn more. A first name is always a good start, since it's awkward conversing with a nameless stranger.
3. Show your interest. Mention something you read in her profile or how you live in the same area of town. This shows that you aren't just contacting her because her photos are hot. Even if you are just contacting her because her photos are hot, she'll be more likely to respond if you maintain the illusion that you care about more than her physical appearance.
4. If you choose to comment on her physical appearance, be general and decent. Many girls don’t want to hear that they “have a nice rack.” This, of course, depends on what kind of site you’re on… To send an acceptable message, stick to “You look very beautiful" or “You have a nice smile.” These are not clichés — no girl gets tired of hearing these things.
5. Try funny. This doesn't always go over well, which might deter some guys from cracking jokes. But funny is one of the foundations of flirting! If you can make her laugh or even crack a grin, you're halfway there. And if not, it wouldn't work out anyway. You need someone who meshes with your sense of humor.
6. Ask a question. This shows you're interested in more than her great rack, and it also makes her more likely to respond. Just don't ask too many — she may not want to write you an essay in response.
7. Be intelligent. "MMMM...yummy!" is my case in point.
This is a lot to digest, but the key to remember is that online conversation is very much like regular conversation. Many of these rules also apply to making a good first impression if you were meeting someone face-to-face.
I’ll leave you with an example of a well-written cyber message:
Hi, I’m Jared. I read on your profile that you’re learning to water ski. Where do you ski?
I’ve been going to Lake Lanier to ski every summer since I was a kid, but I haven't had time lately because I'm opening a surf shop. Don't worry, I'm not a beach bum (yet!).
I'd like to get a chance to learn more about each other — IM me sometime if you want to chat. My screen name is Jared815.
OK, so Jared wasn't very funny, but there's a good chance he'll get a reply, so he can always try again next time.
At least he didn't go the way of his peers and write, "I've got a ski for you..."
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